The Key to victory

He who fights against himself will never win, for he creates and enemy of and with himself;

The one he must protect and defend, therefore he defeat the sole purpose for which to fight.

The one who rage war against himself will, shall and will become a victim of his own victory.

He who fight against himself will lose the war even before the first battle began.

He who do not understand the battle will lose the war, he will become a victims of his ignorance;

For he failed to prepare himself to meet the challenges ahead, challenges he was destined to confront.

A victim several time over, a victim of defeat, a victim of his neglect and a victim of himself.

For he fail to understand that which, it was his duty and responsibility to know.

He who do not understand the war, can still be victorious. But only if he fights each battle on its merits.

You must be careful to utilize only the resources needed to secure a victory;

Always putting forward your best, fighting the war one battle at a time; focusing on the present battle.

Overcoming tomorrow’s obstacles, fighting tomorrow’s battles and looking forward to tomorrow’s victories only after today have ended.

Intorduction - a baby name Malique

From the time he was conceived and I learned of his existence, I knew this child was special. I did not know what gender the baby was, but I love and wanted the child more than anything. I felt this way even though I was not married to his mother, I did not have my own home and was in a poorly paying job: as a police officer. Although I was finding it hard to make ends meet and really could not afford a child, one thing I was sure of was; I wanted this child and I wanted to be a part of this life. I think the baby sensed I loves him tremendously and he reacted to that love. Maria his mother wanted to know the gender of the baby before it was born, but I just knew the child was a boy.

When it was confirmed the baby was a boy; although this was not the first child I fathered, it seems like God began to speak to me about fatherhood. The first revelation that came to me was, you have to teach this child by example. Everything you want this child to be, and you have got to become. As a result, I took stock of my life and I began to make changes, to my behavior and habits. I began to modify my lifestyle. I was not going to be responsible for teaching this child anything that is wrong. So I straighten up my life. I was not perfect but I was better than I was before and I was getting better. This was the impact that the conception of Malique had on me.

My relationship with my unborn child was quite an amazing one. This was so even before the baby was born. It was a normal pregnancy, there were no pre-birth complications. As a part of my commitment to Maria and my soon to be son. I visited Maria every day for the duration of her pregnancy. I will rub her belly, massaged her feet, I will play special music to the baby especially classical music from the greats; to Maria displeasure of course. When Maria complaint about having to listen to music she did not like, I will tell her to just endure it for the child sake and she will. I even played a bit of Farrakhan to the child, I wanted this child to be a brave man, with the fearless ability who stand up for the rights of the weak and the poor.

Although I loved his mother immensely, I did all of this because, I love the baby even before he had an existence outside the mother’s womb and it seems that this child also had an unbreakable love for me, that defy the odds, for not even being confined to his mother’s womb and his undeveloped status, prevented him from expressing that love.

#MaliqueGreaves #MaliquePalmer

Unheard of Movement

One day, when I visited Maria, she was sitting outside, on the steps in the front of her house. As I approached her, she stopped me, and said "Allan sit here," as she patted her right hands on her right side of the steps. While she adjusted herself to make room for me on her right side. I became suspicious at her strange behavior. Why didn't she just allowed me to sit on her left side, where there were enough space to facilitate me doing so.

It was after I inquired that Maria explained to me, of a pattern she had picked up, with the unborn child. She said to me. "Allan it seems like the baby has developed an attachment to you, he knows when you are around and he reacts to your presence." She further explained: "when you come into her presence and you sits next to me on the opposite side of where the baby’s head is; he immediately moves his head to the side where you are. I was amazed at what I heard, but more importantly, I have never heard of such occurrence before.

I wanted to see for myself, if there was any truth in Maria's claims. So, I sat on the left side of Maria or on the opposite to where the fetus head was; and like Maria said, immediately, I saw a bulge appeared on her pregnant belly and that bulged slowly moved from where it was, to the side where I was sitting. I witnessed with my own eyes, the unborn baby changing to facilitate my position.

Of course, this could have just been a coincidence; I had to make sure, that this unheard of phenomenon was not just a coincidence, so at Maria's expense, I immediately went and sat on her right side, and without missing a beat, the bulge appeared on her stomach once again and I looked on in amazement, as the bulge slowly made its way back to the right, the side on which I was sitting, smuggling its head right next to me.

I was totally amazed at what I have witnessed, so I changed sides a few more times and each time, the unborn child will changing sides to ensure his head was on the same side of his Mom' s belly that I was on. And each time Maria will endure the discomfort of my simple pleasure without complaint. More than that I became more and more amazed, each time I witnessed this extraordinary phenomenon; he wanted to be next to me and this made me feel extra special

Malique's Birth - breaking the rules

It was about 8:00 pm, on a Saturday morning, I remembered it like it was yesterday, I had two hours remaining in my shift, after which, I would be off duty for the rest of the weekend. I had just returned to the office from an assignment. It was then I was given a message to call my girlfriend’s mother. So I call to find out what was wrong.

Yvonne Maria's mother told me, Maria went into labor and is at the hospital. I immediately sought permission to leave work and immediately went to the hospital. I must say here, Maria and I have never went to lamas’ classes or any such birth readiness program, but I understood my role as it related to her in the birth process.

On my arrival to the hospital, I was given a hospital robe and mask and was taken to the section of the Maternity ward, where Maria was being prepped for the mystery of giving birth. When I arrived to where Maria was, her Midwife, whom I knew quite well, had just finished examining her, after she removed her gloves, she greeted me with a beautiful smile, then she said, there is no rush, Maria is only three center meters dilated. It is still a few hours before she give birth.

I did not know what was going through Maria's mind, but it was my responsibility to give her the confidence, the courage and the calm she need to make it through this difficult first time experience, with the lease stress and discomfort that was possible. The Registered Nurse who was also a trained Midwife, who had the responsibility to ensure this special child, had a smooth and complication free transition, from life inside the womb to life outside the womb; had just left the room.

As I walked over to where Maria lay on the bed looking very uncomfortable; I asked her how she was doing, it was then that I noticed, the appearance of a black bulge appeared in the area of her vagina. I immediately took a closer look, I noticed, the baby head was coming down. I swore, it seems in the same manner the unborn child adjusted his fetal position to be next to me whilst in the womb, now Malique heard my voice, he decided, my dad is here it is time to leave this place and he began to do precisely that.

I immediately went to the door and called the nurse who was standing with her colleagues in the nurse’s station. I shouted nurse the baby is coming. She immediately responded and as she respond she said: "that can't be," as she make her way into the delivery room, while continuing the conversation with herself. "I just checked her and she was only three centimeters dilated." Then she proceeded to once again examined Maria. To the nurse surprised, the baby was on its way. Then the rush for final birth preparation began. Baby Malique was coming; he had decided not to comply with the medical rules and normal expectations. The birth period was not as long as I expected it to be and with my help and presence the birth was not as hard on Maria as we expected.

Malique was in a hurry to leave his old dwelling place, to inhabit his new place. After the birth process was completed, the nurses were all happy, at the outcome. He cried to clear his lungs, the nurses cleaned him up just enough to showed him to me, then lay him on Maria's chest. He was such a handsome baby. I was once again a proud father.

The Obedient Son - Malique

My name is Allan, I am Malique’s father. To Malique his daddy meant the world to him, and I treated Malique as if he was the world. The father and son loved each other very much. Malique had just celebrated his sixth birthday. The duo love spending quality time with each other. Sometimes the two would disappear for hours. They often went hiking, where together they basked in and experienced the wonders and the beauty of nature. The pair love frequenting the local airport there; there they would look at the ’planes take off and land. The Botanical Garden was also on their list of favorite places to visit. At the botanical garden they would enjoy the beauty of the flowers, roll on the grass, and participate in all the activities children enjoy. There were also the beaches; Malique love the beach. At the beach the father and son pair would frolic for hours, and sometimes they just went into the nearby town where they walked around and observed the activities of the town’s people. They learnt many things and they had fun together.

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday morning; it seemed as if the sun shone brighter than normal. It was a perfect day to go to the beach. Sunday was always a special day for Malique and me; it was the day of the week that Malique looked forward to most, with curious anticipation. Sunday was also the day the enthusiastic young man got to spend all day with his father. The two always engaged in lots of fun activities. Malique was sure that his dad had some wonderful adventure planed for the day. After breakfast Malique noticed that his daddy was cleaning the car. The energetic child decided to join his father in the task of preparing the car for the day’s activities. Although Malique was of little use in the task at hand the loving father was happy just to have his son around, even when he got in the way.

“Daddy, what are we going to do today?” asked Malique as he looked at his dad with searching eyes. To the lad it mattered not what activity his father chose; what was important was that he got to be with his dad.

“We will be going to the beach,” his father replied.

Immediately a twinkle of excitement appeared in Malique’s eyes. He ran into the house and to his mother, and with a blaze of enthusiasm he shouted, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Daddy is going to take me to the beach, can you help me get ready?” His mother was only too happy to help her dear son get ready for his adventure.

With all the commotion the young boy was making you would have thought that the beach was the most wonderful place in the entire world. The beach was two miles away.

Indian Bay was a small white-sand beach; it was just about 250 meters long. There was not much room for playing, for there was a retaining wall one-meter high with a one-and-a-half meters security wire fence erected at the top of the wall. This structure was designed to keep picnickers off the private property that bordered the beach. About 20 meters from the shore there were two small islands that acted as a shelter for the beach. Immediately in front of the beach was the smaller of the two islands; this island had a few trees growing on it and there was also a humongous white cross erected in its center. Hence the name Cross Island. Cross Island rose about five meters above the level of the sea. This Island acted as a little challenge for people who had just learned how to swim; to swim to and from Cross Island was quite an accomplishment.

On the north of Cross Island were the second and the larger of the two Islands. This island was called High Rock. High Rock was about 40 meters from the shore. It was a very large, barren, and dense volcanic rock that had many ridges and cracks. High Rock stood about thirty meters above the level of the sea. To swim and climb to the top of High Rock was an experience, but the challenge was to jump and plummet into a free-fall landing into the deep blue sea that spread out like a carpet below.

Finally it was time to leave for the beach. The duo got into the car and off they went. The beach was half an hour away. Michael was as excited as his son. He anticipated having tons of fun at the beach with his son. It was my plan to start Malique’s swimming lessons when they got to the beach.

At the beach the father and son team had tons of fun; they frolicked and swam, they built sand castles or what they called sand castles, which was washed away by the wave that regularly bathe the shore and in whose part they were erected. Malique had his swimming lesson. All of the activities wore out the young child; he was tired. Malique’s daddy saw an opportunity to go for a little swim on his own.

Malique was sitting on a stone; he was exhausted but excitement still gleamed from his eyes. I walked up too and spoke to the tired child.

“Malique,” he said, “I am going for a swim. I want you to sit on this rock. I don’t want you to move, no matter what happens. Do you understand?”

“Yes, daddy,” the shivering child said.

I knew that Malique could not swim, and if he ventured into the water unsupervised he could drown. That would be a tragedy. The death of a child is one tragedy no loving parent would like to have in his or her family. Michael had to make sure that his son understood him before he ventured out for his swim.

Malique sat on the stone and watched as his father swam back and forth. Malique wanted to join his dad in the water but he was too tired to join in the fun. Michael swam to Cross Island and back, and Malique made no attempt to leave his very comfortable seat on the rock.

All appeared well and I decided to take a swim out to the High Rock and climb to the top of the rock. He jumped from the top of the rock into the clear blue water below. He did this several times. This activity was very exhausting. Finally Michael Malique’s dad climbed to the top of High Rock and took a seat to rest. From his position on the top of the island Michael had a clear view of his son sitting comfortably and undisturbed on the stone. Malique could also see his daddy from his seat. Malique hoped for the day when he could join his father on the top of High Rock.

While on the top of the High Rock; I noticed that something strange was happening on the beach. He noticed that everyone was running to and fro, but eventually everyone ran into the water. Screams could be heard coming from the beach; I searched the beach with worried eyes and as wondered what could be happening. my heart began to beat fast with concerned; but more so my heart pounded with fear; he feared for the safety of his beloved son. I knew there was danger on the beach but he was unaware of what the danger was.

I looked at my son and noticed him still sitting on the rock looking in the direction of the people as they ran and screamed. Michael was tempted to jump off of the large rock, but he still did not know what the danger was. It would have taken Michael about three minutes at the least to get to his son. The swim seemed as if it would last an eternity.

Just then I saw a large vicious-looking rottweiler running along the beach. Now the powerful, angry and ferocious bark of the dog could be heard, and there was a man running frantically behind the dog with an unattached leash in his hand. Now, there were only two people on the shore: they were the man with the leash in his hand and Malique. I saw the dog ran toward the helpless little boy. As a result I felt a large lump in his throat, that made him feel as it he was suffocating. I was not suffocating but I was petrified by the thought of what could probable happen.

I felt helpless and my heart pounded harder and faster than ever before. Although no harm has come to the child as yet; he blamed himself for anything that might happen to his defenseless son. He was helpless and a sense of hopelessness overtook him. If he was there, using his bare hands Malique’s dad would have ripped that vicious dog to shreds to protect his son, but there was nothing that he could do from where he was. There was nothing Malique could do, there was nowhere for the frightened child to run. If he ran into the sea he would drown, since he could not swim, and if he followed the last instruction his father had given him he would be mauled by the vicious dog. It was a hopeless situation. Malique’s dad knew that rottweiler and children were not a good combination, as this breed of dog is known to be very aggressive toward children.

Just then Malique’s dad said, “Lord Jesus, you are the only one who can protect my son. Please keep him safe.” Malique’s dad never once took his eyes off the events that were unfolding on the beach, even when he uttered the prayer for his son’s protection.

The vicious dog ran faster and faster toward the child and as he got closer to the unattended child, who was still sitting on the rock, the frightening growl of the angry dog could be heard. The people in the sea watched with horror as the ferocious dog approached the helpless child. When the fierce dog got close enough to launch an attack, he stopped, looked at the child, smelt him, then turned away and went toward the sea and continued to bark at the people in the sea.

Malique’s dad breathed a sigh of relief and dived from the top of High Rock with his Outstretched and pointing down at the sea. The anxious father hands made contact with the sea water first, then his head, shoulder then his whole body was swiftly submerged into the deep blue see. Micheal hurriedly swam to the shore, dispensing every bit of energy he had in the effort. When the anxious Father got to the shore the dog had already been put back on his leash and was removed from the beach. The thankful father ran to his son, who was still sitting on the rock as if nothing had happened.

“Are you Okay, Malique?” I asked nervously, as I tried my best to reflect the level calm his brave and obedient son now exhibited

“Yes daddy,” the child answered, with a sense of calm in his voice that was seen on his face and that which his demeanor now reflected.

“Were you afraid of the dog?” I calmly asked.

“Yes daddy” Malique replied.

“Why didn’t you run like every one else?” I asked, anxious to hear his son’s answer.

From the way Malique looked at his father, you could have tell the lad was Confused by the question “Daddy, you told me not to move from here no matter what happened,” the lad replied with a naive childish innocence.

I held my obedient son close to his heart and squeezed him. Under my breath I said thank you Jesus. He knew that the dog had been redirected from his son by the mighty hand Jesus.

Malique - has Asthma or not

I was working in Bermuda as a police officer, as part of my routine, I will call my son Malique and his mother to see how he was doing. One evening I called and Maliques mother reported, that she think Malique has asthma, an illness that result in breathing problem.  Her reason for suspecting that was: She took Malique to the Botanical Gardens and Malique was breathing extremely heavy and was unable to walk for any significant period.

I knew Malique very well, even more so than his mother did.  I knew Malique did not have asthma or any other breathing problem for that fact. I concluded this for the simple fact, that while Malique was very small between two or three years old, one of my routine with the little man was to wake up very early in the morning at approximately 5:30 am, I will call ahead and have him mother prepare him, and both of us will go to the beach for an early morning swim. Before we take our swim, Malique and I will exercise on the beach, which consisted of jogging the length of the beach several times, push ups jumping jacks and sit ups. Although Malique was unable to complete one push up, it did not stop him from trying. He had no problem running, the length of the beach as many times as I will. I was always amazed at the effort me made, of couse, I will run at Malique’s pace. But as long as I was willing to run, Malique kept pace with no complaint of exhaustion. So it was a shock to me, when I was told that Malique has Asthma.

I told Malique’s mother under no uncertain terms Malique have Asthma. This is a child who have hiked even at the tender age of three years old the Vermont Nature trail. And never did he ever say he was tired, or cannot go any further. However he fell asleep from the exhaustion of the hike and had to be carried the last part of the hike.

It was just a matter of weeks before I return home for vacation. Malique told me of a scooter he liked and asked if I can get it for him if it were not too much trouble. So I purchased the scooter and I shipped in to St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

While on vacation, Malique and I went to try out the scooter. I strapped on my roller blades, and Malique and I went for a ride. I let out full speed ahead and Malique hopped onto his scooter and off we went. I look back with the thought that Malique maybe lagging behind expecting me to waite for him which I was willing to do; however, I was shocked to see Malique about one scooter length behind me keeping up. So we rode the from Level Garden, along Paul’s Avenue, onto Backstreet, we turn right on Sharp Street, then we cruised up to the Grenadines whaft. It was also an opportunity to see what have changed since I was last on the island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines the land of my birth.

After which, with speed that mirrored the speed we started the trip with we rode the length of Bay Street turning right on Queen street and we stopped at my homestead where we refreshed ourselves.

Malique showed no sign of exhaustion except for the sweat that ran from his forehead and that have taken over his clothen. As a matter of fact, I saw excitement in his eyes after all he was with his dad and with his dad there is nothing he could not or was not willing to try to do.  

this experience put the asthma theory to rest. 

A request to Give Malique up for adoption - From his Mother

While I was in Bermuda, I received a phone call from Malique’s mother; she had just gotten married and was about to move to England, to join her new husband, who had enlisted in the British Arm Forces a few years before. Since I was in Bermuda working and she have been the child’s Sole caretaker, It would have been foolish to leave Malique behind in St. Vincent and the Grenadines with neither of his parents to care for him.

So she (Malique's mother) told me in order for her to take Malique to the UK with her and for him to received maximum UK Benefit, he must carry her husband’s last name. She also informed me that the absence of such will prevent Malique, from receiving his papers, to travel and stay in the UK. Then she was asking me to sign papers so she and her new husband could adopt Malique. She told me the paper work is in the mail, all I am required to do was to signed the papers and return them to her. I told Malique’s mother there is no way I am going to give away my son. After all Malique meant the world to me and I to him. After all this is the child, for years I had fixed my work schedule to ensure, I was able to visit him at his school, on his lunch break. The same child I will take to the beach most morning from since he was two years old. I have spent more quality time with this child more than anyone I knew; I have spending quality time with him, even when he was in his mother, talking to him, rubbing his head through the skin of his mother's belly and playing classical and old music for him even when he was still in his mother's womb. How could I ever give him to another man?

I adamantly declared to Malique’s mother that I am not signing any paper to cause Malique to be adopted by she (Malique’s mother) and her new husband. Later when I called and was speaking to Malique as I often did, my efforts to remain relevant in his life. I took the time to finding out how he was doing, how he was getting along in school, trying to keep abreast with my son’s general well being as well as to answer all question he had. and he had a lot of questions. 

While we were speaking Malique started a conversation complying with his mother’s wishes and plans. The Child of tender age said to me, "daddy, you know mommy got married and I will be moving to England with her, It will be best for me, if you sign the papers so that Mommy and her husband can adopt me. Then I can received all of the benefits like going to college and so on." he said, The fact that Malique made the request, broke my heart. He had a sincerity in his voice that cut like a knife. In the back of my mind a voice said Allan the child want to go with his mother, it will be selfish of you to stand in his way. Yet another voice said, don't forget you are his father you must do what is right for the child. I knew within my hearts of hearts to give him up for adoption was not in Malique's best interest.  

I wondered what kind of a person will put their child in such a situation to cause a 9 year old to negotiate with his father whom he love and who love him equally, to give him to a man whom he barely knew. So I said to my son, Malique, I am your father and I love you very much, I will never give you away. I know you have to go to the UK with your mother because in my absence your mother is the most appropriate person for you to be with; but I cannot and will never give you up.

A few days later when I called Malique, His Grand Mother Yvonne answered the phone and she told me a story that filled me with pride; and convinced me that I was doing the correct thing. She told me after Malique came of the phone with me. He went to her and said Granny Yvonne, do you really think my daddy is going to give me away; my daddy love me to much he will never give me away. He was proud and felt good to know that my love for him was defiant even of his mother and the fact that I loved his so much that I will not give him away. At lease that was how Malique say it as a child. His mother was asking his father to give him away.

As a result, I wrote a letter, to the British High Commission, informing the person who were responsible for processing Malique’s paper work, that I Allan H. F. Palmer I being the biological father and co-caretaker of Malique, I now work and because of my work I am currently residing in Bermuda, I am giving Malique’s Mother: Maria Greaves permission to take Malique to England with her, where he will reside with her and her husband; until such time when I am able to be a father to him.  

I then send that letter to Malique’s mother. And that was the last on that matter. I do not know what happened mext. I was not sure I could depend on Malique’s mother to do what was right. For the simple fact her lawyer was the notorious and dishonest Arthur Williams, who will encourage her to even falsefy document to accomplish his own end. To make it worst, I was a fierce opposition to the political party that he is an influential member of and my opposition was hurting the party badly to the point where they have been investing in creating difficulties for my with the Bermuda Police Service.

So the question is: did Malique's mother had her lawyer Arthur Williams illegally fix the documentation to cause Malique to be adopted by she and her husband. I still don’t know, because I will never put that pressure on my son to ask him. I don’t ever want him to feel like he is betraying his mother or the confidentiality of his mother.